The chicken that never crossed the road

NOTE: The following article is highly pessimistic and sarcastic in nature. Any resemblance to events, places and people (living or dead) is definitely intentional. All ‘optimists’ and ‘realists’ are advised to take a hike. The Himalayas are great this time of the year!

The Background: The protagonist is a chicken, a citizen from a distant country called Bratpur. Bratpur is country with more than 50 states, Upperpur and Mahapur being the more prominent ones. Mahapur is situated somewhere in the southwest and Upperpur, as the names suggests is in the north. The past decade has seen farmers migrating from Upperpur to Mahapur in search of greener pastures. One such farmer migrated to Mahapur and set up ‘Laltu farms’.

It all began when a chicken from Laltu Farms had an epiphany. She decided to go farther than any chicken had ever gone before. She decided to cross the road! Somewhere along the middle of the road, her foot got stuck in a pothole, which the BMC (Bratpur Metropolitan Corporation) had failed to repair. She struggled to get her foot loose, but got ran over by a passing car. It was a clear hit and run case. Unknown to the chicken, a reporter from a prominent TV channel, ZDTV, had captured the entire sequence of events on tape.

The tape showed the license plate of the vehicle that ran over the chicken. It also showed that the reporter had ample time to save the chicken’s life but chose not to do so as his promotion and the channel’s TRP mattered more to him than a chicken’s life.
Sure enough it made breaking news and the reporter got his ‘well deserved’ promotion. The driver of the car involved turned out to be the son of an influential and affluent politician. He would not spend more than a few hours in jail and would be let out on bail. After all, in Bratpur, laws of the land were applicable only to the poor and the destitute.

What followed after the accident can only be described as utter chaos. Correspondents from various news channels including till now, yesterday’s news flocked to report the news. The distraught farmer was overwhelmed by the loss of the chicken and was left speechless. The reporters interviewed anything and anyone who could speak. They got hold of a cow in the nearby farm and interviewed the poor creature. All she could say was ‘MOO’. Politicians soon arrived in the scene. A member from the leading party wanted to hog the limelight and offered his condolences in front of the cameras. He even offered to compensate the farmer monetarily for the loss. The BMC officials were nowhere to be seen and the MNS (Mahapur new formed soldiers) were stoic about the incident as the chicken was originally from Upperpur. The leader of the opposition did not want to be left out either. He alleged that the whole incident was a conspiracy by the leading party. They openly and shamelessly bickered in front of the cameras.

Five days after the incident, a memorial service was held at a prominent location. People lit candles and bowed their heads in respect. The chicken even appeared on one of the late night debate shows where the so called ‘experts’ share their so called ‘expert’ opinion. One of the experts suggested wider roads to avoid the accident while another guest speaker concluded that all chicken should be slaughtered to avoid such a mishap in the future.

Ten days zoomed past and the chicken was soon forgotten. Nothing had really changed. The farmer remained poor. The influential politician’s son went on a killing spree and the BMC pothole was never repaired!

Welcome of Bratpur , where we sweat all day
So that all politicians can be merry and gay (And erect bronze statues)