"Super" Kapoor

“The world is safe once again! Thanks to ......” Sounds familiar? The world we live in has been saved innumerable times by a wide variety of superheroes such as Batman, Superman, Spiderman and other interesting characters. These heroes have been successful in protecting us from villains whose sole motive is to either take over the earth or destroy it (only god knows why!). These heroes have however managed to entertain millions of kids in India and billions abroad!

To cater to the needs of 40 something year old ladies, Ekta Kapoor popped right out from nowhere. With her stereotype daughter- mother-in-law quarrels, one actually wonders how people still keep watching her soaps. History repeats itself, more and more soaps are screened and loyal viewers can be seen sitting glued on to their TV sets.

Let us imagine that by some bizarre twist of fate (god forbid!) that Ekta Kapoor decides to make use of these superheroes in her soaps so that it appeals to a larger majority of people!

Main Characters:

Batman: The Head of the family

Batgirl: Mother (looks 20ish in spite of the fact that her son is 40yrs old)

Superman: Son

Wonderwoman: Daughter-in-law and Superman's wife

The episodes would proceed as follows:

Episode 1:

(Title song for 3 mins!)

(Commercial break for 2 mins).

The stage is set. The episode begins and a humongous house (fit for a king) is shown. The rooms are so lavishly and expensively furnished that even the owners of the five star hotels would turn green with envy. A joint family is shown with Batman and Batgirl getting up from their bed dressed as if they have been to a party (Batgirl is still wearing expensive clothes and jewellery!). In another room far far away, Superman gets up, looks around, is not able to find Wonderwoman, and gets angry for some reason. Meanwhile Wonderwoman can be seen cooking in the kitchen.

A telepathic conversation takes place:

Superman: Wonderwoman.....Are you there?

Wonderwoman: Yes dear....Go on.

Superman: Where is my electric red underwear? I have to save the world from vile villains. (In a thunderous voice)

(A commercial break for 2 mins)

(A recap of the conversation that took place before the interval)

Wonderwoman: I am sorry dear. I have given it for dry washing.

Superman: What?

End of episode 1.

Title song for 2 mins!

Episode 2:

(Recap of episode 1)

Superman flies into the kitchen with god like speed, looks at Wonderwoman and zaps her using his laser vision. A harassed Wonderwoman takes out her lasso and starts whipping it at Superman. Hearing all the commotion, Batgirl rushes into the room, sizes up the situation and blames her daughter-in-law for everything that happened. Wonderwoman bursts out sobbing.

Episodes 3, 4, 5, 6: Wonderwoman still sobbing! New characters such as Green Goblin, Flash Gordan etc are introduced who try to console her, but all in vain!

Episode 7: The red underwear has been brought back from the dry wash. Seeing the underwear, an argument again surfaces. Batgirl gets angry again and a fight breaks out between Batgirl and Wonderwoman. The fight aggravates to such an extent that Batgirl slaps Wonderwoman. Wonderwoman storms out of the house and swears that she will never set a foot in the house ever again! She decides to go to her mother’s home.

Episodes 8, 9, 10, 11: Superman is angry with Batgirl for sending Wonderwoman home. Batgirl and Batman both try to justify why the course of action adopted by them is best for the entire family.

Episode 12: Family hears that en route to her mother’s home, Wonderwoman’s invisible jet has crashed and she is in fact dead!

Episodes 13, 14, 15, 16: Mourning begins for Wonderwoman’s death. A picture of Wonderwoman is kept in the pooja place and the family can be seen crying out loudly. Everyone is regretting that she had to leave this world so early. She had to leave without saying goodbye. Characters like Spiderman, Flash can be seen consoling the family members.

Episode 17: Wonderwoman is alive but unconscious. It took some time for the rescue team to find her jet as it was invisible! She is admitted to a nearby hospital.

Episodes 18, 19, 20: Hospital scenes! People visit wonderwoman give her flowers etc.

Episodes 21, 22, 23: Wonderwoman returns home. Superman hugs her and they hold a grand party on her return in the same grand house.

Episodes 24, 25: Life proceeds normally in the Superman home. The normalcy and day to day instances are illustrated in these episodes.

I just demonstrated how easy it is to come with episodes of soaps by Ms Ekta Kapoor which have an uncanny habit of beginning with the letter “K”. My advice to the ladies who watch such soaps is to stop watching them. Watch something meaningful rather than wasting your time with mundane and awful soaps. For the kids who love superheroes, I urge them to keep on watching as long as it doesn’t turn out to be an addiction.

I request Mrs. Ekta Kapoor to come up with better plots (which can at the least entertain the entire family!) and get rid of mother-in-law and daughter trifles. I beg her to be more innovative when it comes to naming her serials and never ever get the bright idea of using superheroes in her soaps! Lastly I would also recommend Mrs. Kapoor to get a life!